A Flask of Alcohol
by Msario
Summary: Suou stumbles upon Hei's alcohol unattended. Hei gets a headache.


"Understood."

The man hung up, and left the payphone.

He was frustrated. Not with the call that had just taken place, but a simpler fact.

The Grim Reaper was now an alcoholic.

Even now, after just an hour or two without a drink, he was completely and utterly drained. He wasn't sure he'd be able to make it back home. How could he have been foolish enough to forget to bring any form of alcohol?

How irrational of him.

By sheer force of luck, he managed to trudge to the hotel where he was currently residing. As he shoved the door to his room open, he sorted his thoughts, composed his face, and prepared to deal with the child under his care.

"Hey, Hei!"

The red haired girl in front of him fell to her knees laughing, her face red, and her eyes watering.

He did not prepare to deal with that.

"G-get it? B-because, in English, 'Hei' is 'hey', like 'Hey, h-how are you' but also your n-name is that, so I put em together!"

She was currently discovering the hardships of laughing and talking at the same time.

A squirrel wearing a small, red handkerchief sat on her head, it's paws buried in it's face.

"Dear god…"

The girl continued to sputter irrelevant nonsense.

"H-hey, Hei," She giggled, "Why's your name Hei? Hei means b-black, right? Is it, is it because you have black hair? Your parents are really clever, hey, Hei?"

After another burst of laughter, the girl clumsily brought a flask to her lips, and gulped down what it contained.

Hei's eyes widened. "My alcohol!"

He snatched it from the girl, and put the lid back on it.

After a second of hesitation, he took the lid off again, and drank some of it for himself.

"Aaah!" The girl screamed and pointed at Hei. "You kissed me! That was my first kiss! Y-you better take responsibility, Hei!"

The older man, now refreshed, ignored her and asked, "Why did you have my alcohol?"

The drunken girl stared at the container in Hei's hands. "W-why do you have _my_ alcohol?"

The squirrel on her head sighed. "I tried to stop her, Hei. I really did."

Hei turned to it. "Did she find anything else, Mao?"

While Hei acted professional, he had to constantly keep the girl away from the bottle in his hands as she desperately grabbed for it.

"Heeey! Give me my alcohol back!"

Mao gave up trying to keep balance on her head, and jumped to a nearby counter, answering Hei's question.

"No, that's all she found."

Hei weighed the flask in his hands. It was still nearly completely full. She had barely drunk any at all.

He sighed.

"Y-you're such a pervert, Hei. Why'd you k-kiss me? I-I'm a million years younger than you, you know."

The girl continued to talk. She had given up retrieving the flask, and was now clinging to Hei, who practically had to carry her so she didn't fall.

"I didn't kiss you." Hei chugged down some more of the alcohol, shook the girl off of him, and shambled over to the couch, sitting down.

"You d-don't have to be embarrassed, Hei. Just accept it."

The red head stumbled over to Hei, and fell on top of him.

"Get off of me," Hei grunted.

Ignoring the lethal assassin, the drunk girl hugged Hei as tightly as she could.

"We have to get married now, you know. M-my mother said that I could only kiss the person I'm married to."

"I didn't kiss you and your mother's wrong."

The highly skilled, cold hearted contractor tried to wrench off the girl clinging to him, but she refused to let go.

As she hugged Hei with a death grip, she shouted, "Welcome home, honey!"

"What are you doing?"

"Practicing!"

Hei gave up the struggle, and let her suffocate him with her hug.

"We're not getting married. We can't legally do that."

"I'll p-pretend I'm older."

"I don't think you can manage that." Hei took another swig of the alcohol. He could feel his head getting slightly fuzzy.

"I can."

"I don't care."

"W-would you like dinner first, dear?"

"I'd like you to get off of me."

"Or maybe a bath?"

"Maybe I'll throw you into the river."

The girl brought her head to Hei's chest. "Or perhaps…"

"I'll hit you."

"…you'd like me…"

Hei raised his fist.

If it was possible, the girl held on even tighter to Hei's abdomen.

"Uh uh! You can't do that anymore! We're married. I can call the cops on you now."

So she couldn't before?

"We are not married. And I have never kissed you." Hei drank down more of the alcohol. He was getting drunk now.

The girl raised her head, and looked the black contractor in the eyes. Her expression turned serious.

"Hey, Hei," she smiled, "Say my name."

The man looked at her with cold eyes. "Why?"

"Just do it. Say my name."

"Suou Pavlichenko."

Suou pouted, and stared at Hei, unsatisfied.

"Not like that."

Hei sighed, and took another sip of alcohol. The flask was nearly empty now.

"What other way can I say it?"

"Say it like you're my husband."

"But I'm not."

"I don't care."

There was a moment of silence.

Hei looked the drunk, immature, red haired contractor in her slightly glazed over eyes.

"Suou."

Suou smiled. She brought her face inches away from Hei's.

Hei held his breath, and closed his eyes.

Then, Suou grabbed the flask out of Hei's hand, and chugged down the rest of the alcohol within.

"There! That was definitely a kiss, that time."

The squirrel was laughing. Hei cleared his throat.

"We've never kissed, and we never will."

Hei pushed Suou off of him, and stood up.

"A-ah, but darling, the w-wedding bells are calling. C-can't you hear them?"

"You're drunk."

Suou was lying on the ground now. After a few more seconds of incoherent rambling, she passed out.

Hei pinched his nose. Even after all he drank, he could feel a headache coming.

The squirrel chuckled. "Some contractor, eh, Hei?"

He grunted. Hei picked up the sleeping girl, and put her on the mattress.

As he put some sheets over her, he said, "July, get some water. She'll need it when she wakes up."

The boy, who had been silently watching in a corner, complied.

Mao did his best to raise an eyebrow in his current body. "That's quite considerate of you, Hei. It's almost like you really are her husband."

Hei glared at him with eyes that could, and probably have, killed.

"Shut up."

* * *

_Hope you liked it. _

_If you did, review. _

_If you didn't, you're drunk. _

_Do your best to review._

_Have a good day, all. _


End file.
